Thursday, April 23, 2009

Compromise vs. Reality

A thought occurred to me today re: compromise vs. reality. It was a simple thought really, and the thought was this: we stop looking at things as a 'compromise' once we accept 'reality'. I've had many a conversation where folks have said "I refuse to compromise and will hold out until I get exactly what I want." Then they go about living a rather insane life of repeating the same behavior, i.e. chasing perfection and idealizing others to falsely fit into the image of perfection, only to be disappointed over and over again once the 'reality' (nothing is perfect) has set in. Then they repeat the same behavior and expect a different result (the very definition of insanity). I think we've all been guilty of this behavior at various points in our lives, and maybe the only thing that makes any of us different from another is if and when we learn the difference between compromise and reality. Reality IS compromise. Nothing is perfect...everything is flawed. When we learn that to seek perfection (another way of saying 'refuse to compromise') is a fruitless endeavor, and we learn to accept the reality that compromise is what leads to satisfaction, I think we can truly start to learn happiness. There is no way we will ever get everything we want, and no one person can be all things to another. But once we can accept the reality that people have flaws, just as we ourselves do, and we accept those flaws for the trivial things they may be, we can see the value that the truly good people in our lives have to offer, and maybe, for the first time, truly appreciate them for the special people they are...even though we had to 'compromise' to see and finally feel it. What can I say? Reality suddenly seems much more exciting than fantasy, and isn't that as it should be?

1 comment:

  1. Reality is much much better than fantasy. I spent a lifetime chasing a whole pile of fantasies then I stopped and found the reality I was in was better than what I'd been chasing.

    "There is no way we will ever get everything we want" To be honest I doubt we really want it, we think we want it or even need it at least are owed it in some fashion etc. But really do we really want it?

    So usual diversion for me at this point, guitars and alcohol... bare with me...

    Steve Clark - Def Leppard. Tall, long blond hair, in a huge rock band playing to huge audiences all over the world, selling records by the truck load... drank himself to death. He had everything I ever thought I wanted... but still not enough.

    Micheal Schenker - there is UFO just released Strangers in the Night (greatest live album ever in my opinion) and again implodes on himself with a drink/drug problem that has dogged him to this day. He also walked out on the mixing of that album as the producer insisted on keeping one of his solos direct off the live tape but he wanted to re-record it in the studio to make it... "perfect". What could have been the band of the 80s, Leppard, Maiden, GnR all rolled into one basically shot to bits through non-acceptance.

    I'll shut up now but you are spot on with this post.