I have come to realize that much of the time the only reason why I post anything at all is an attempt at sharing an amusing thought or two. Normally, I try and avoid 'deep and meaningful' topics because I figure 'who the hell cares whats going on in my noggin'?', but lately I've posted a few...and I've wondered why. Now, I think I know. I'm just not that angry right now. I think anger fuels a lot of humor (they say stand up comedians are generally some of the unhappiest and angriest people you could want to meet), and my lack of it has left me sort of...mellow and reflective. I do have the occasional traffic rant, or I can rhapsodize about the service at Starbucks, but really, those rants are played out and how long can I go on bitching about it (well, forever if I let myself)? Traffic sucks, and Starbucks service is occasionally slow. There. Topic covered...forever. Moving on.
Thing is, I am a funny guy (according to the people I meet), but I find lately that any humor I have to share is in the context of a real time conversation, because that is a real and (generally) positive experience full of good energy. A rant or screed here is, truth be told, carrying around a bucket of bile all day long until I get here and vomit it forth in some sort of passionate invective. What a great way to have a miserable day, you know? To carry that around until I get home to a computer? Feh...I just don't have the energy for that anymore...or the desire, and I feel better for it. However, having said that, the blogs have suffered. What to do....what to do...
Actually, I have no idea, but here's a few thoughts that jumped into my head I'll share here for lack of anything better to write about:
1. Whenever a woman tells me she's going to go get a 'facial', I have an overwhelming urge to laugh maniacally at the sheer joy at her obliviousness to how perverse that sentence sounds.
2. Ditto with every time I go to the supermarket and see the word 'pork-butt'. To me, that sounds like a command given by the director of a pornograhic film to his male star who has limited command of the English language.
3. You can figure out with 90% accuracy if a person is somebody you want to engage in any sort of relationship with just by the contents of their iPod. Multiple Mariah Carey tracks? We will not be hanging out...
4. I have come to realize that women MAY be drinking MORE than men now. Whenever I go out, its the women who are shitfaced hammered and out of control. Congratulations ladies, you have now achieved equality in the ability to make poor drunken decisions too. Enjoy...and please stop spilling your drinks on me.
5. As a man, you have to admit once in a while there are just some guys who are cooler than you'll ever be...Clive Owen is one of those guys...Rob Dickinson too. The bastards.
6. I am sadly lacking an object of lust. As a college aged lad, it was Winona Ryder. Then later Kelly MacDonald (loved the accent too). Then...nothing. Its sad really. Who do I fantasize about now? I now find myself far more interested and turned on by real women...flaws and all. Is that what happens when you're staring at turning 40? You accept reality and....well....embrace it? Wheres the fun in that???????
OK, promised my daughters I'd take them out to dinner, so off I go...but just felt like writing a little something, and this hit the spot almost as good as a small cappuccino.
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