Friday, April 17, 2009


A thought occurred to me as I drove between The Bay Area and Sacramento today. And that thought was this: people are really horrible drivers. I mean, they really, really suck. As in, they suck to the point of it indicating some kind of deficient brain function. So, to sum up: they suck, and they're stupid. Got it? Good. As these thoughts on humanity swirled around my head as I drove and witnessed the act of one high functioning retard after another engage in the poetic dance that is Bay Area traffic, another thought occurred to me: If it is a given fact that people are completely retarded, then it stands to reason that it is an ABSOLUTE MIRACLE they don't immediately crash as soon as they leave their driveway, much less enter the freeway. Think about it. I was surrounded by hundreds of people operating two ton death machines hurtling down the road at 100 ft. per second who possessed no more mental acuity than a simple planarian, and yet, they were managing not coming together in one huge fireball of twisted metal reminescent of the final scenes of The Road Warrior. And then it struck me. Miracles ARE all around us, and I was witnessing an act of a power higher than myself. So there you go. So the next time you start to get pissed off at the dumbass in the car next to you on the road, yet you see that they manage to continue to drive down the road with their head completely up their ass and, amazingly enough, NOT CRASH, just smile, and feel the joy of witnessing a miracle, and feel the wonder of the universe embrace you...and then flip them off.

1 comment:

  1. Next time I'm shuddering to a halt as I avoid hitting the muppet who just pulled out I'll try and remember that one... :-)