Thursday, October 17, 2013

Sandra Bullock, Cruz'n for love, and the gubmint

So Sandra Bullock said something along the lines of, "Expecting an actor to NOT be a narcissist is kind of like expecting a bird NOT to poop when it's flying. It's kind of what they do." I agree completely, and she has perfectly stated why it’s a good idea to avoid any sort of relationship with an actor: Much like a bird flying high above, they will crap on you. It's kind of what they do.

Moving on to the truly insane: Ted Cruz and Paul Ryan stated one of their core problems with The ACA was its mandate that employers provide birth control as a part of their employee health care plans, because it could violate the religious beliefs of certain employers. But why stop there? Shouldn't Viagra and other ED drugs also violate the religious beliefs of these same employers? Surely, if some gray haired dude cannot get a boner, it is because it was ordained by The Lord, and a medically induced stiffie would be an abomination in His Eyes. In fact, I think this very issue was mentioned in Corinthians (so sayeth The Lord "He shall not spring heavenward from his nether regions like a fresh stalk of grain with the aid of unnatural substances created by soothsayers and other necromancers. Amen."). Anyways, they're strangely silent on this issue. Typical of the radical set, afraid to make the "hard" decisions. (Zing! See what I did there????)

When people say, "I love my country, but I hate my government", I like to ask them, "What do mean by that? Your country IS your government. Otherwise, you're just talking about a large chunk of dirt bordered on its east and west sides by an ocean." In the future I'm going to suggest to them, "Don't you mean I love this continent? Or perhaps this particular combination of tectonic plates? Because clearly, you HATE this country, based on your views about the government. Simple deductive reasoning indicates you must rather be a fan of our particular brand of clays and top soils." They invariably will answer, "Well, I loved this country when it was it USED to be!" Then the logical query would be ,"Used to be...when? When slavery was legal? When the average life expectancy was approximately 47 yrs (as recently as 1900)? When the average household income was $740 a year (in 1913...which adjusted for inflation was $15,000 in 2006, when the average household income for the USA in 2006 was over $49, things weren't so hot in 1913)? When the majority of people lived in homes with dirt floors and without electricity?  The Reagan revolution when the national debt went from $900 billion to $3 trillion (over a threefold increase)? The Dubya years when middle class incomes stagnated and declined?  When is the great USED TO BE in your statement?"

I doubt they will have much of an answer...because the "USED TO BE" only exists in their head, and in fiction...which of course is the same thing.

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