Thursday, July 25, 2013


So, it wasn't a food allergy.  Turns out, I have an ulcer...which I ignored for almost a month (you would think nightly pain would get me to the doctor...but nope.  That would take a brain cell or two...which I'm apparently lacking).  What did it take to finally get me to the doctor?  Vomiting up bile the color of mint ice cream.  Needless to say, that did the trick.  Anyways, let me tell you...are ulcers painful?  Uh, yeah.  Unbelievably so.  The good news is I can eat want I want again, the bad news is...I can't eat what I want for at least a month.  My tasty diet consists primarily of peanut butter (creamy) and jelly sandwiches, bananas, grapes, 1% milk, apples, blueberries, eggs, rice, plain noodles and oatmeal.  When I'm feeling exotic, I work in a little chicken.  No caffeine, no chocolate, no spices, tomatoes, peppers, onions, garlic, coffee (I haven't had coffee in days and yes, I'm experiencing withdrawals), citrus, fatty foods (cheese, butter, cream, whole know, shit I love) or carbonated beverages.  I didn't originally believe this, and cheated a bit.  Well, after 12 hours of agonizing abdominal pain, I saw the light. Anyways, the ulcer safe diet pretty much means any foods that lack actual flavor are the safe foods to eat.  Right now, even something like KETCHUP sounds like exotic, forbidden fruit.  Those of you who may know me, know how much I like spicy food (especially Mexican), so you can appreciate the dietary hell I'm living in right now.  However, I suppose I can take solace in the fact that it won't last forever.

 OK.  Time for (yet another) banana.  

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