First of all, I love dairy. Milk, ice cream, cheese, BUTTER....seriously. The shit to me is the heroin of the food groups. To me, it's more addictive than BACON...and that's saying something. You can take one of my eyes, but don't fuck with my dairy. Well, check this out. All of the sudden, for no good goddamn reason, for the last three weeks, every evening, and after most meals, I would get debilitating stomach pain and abdominal distension. I mean wind up at doctors and get prescription pain killers type pain. As a result of my last years allergic nonsense, apparently there's a good chance you'll develop other autoimmune allergies. Naturally, because I love dairy so much, it appears I have developed a milk protein allergy. While this hasn't been officially diagnosed yet, today I avoided all dairy after doing a research of symptoms last night (first tried a gluten elimination...didn't work), and today I had the first day in weeks where I wasn't rolling around on the carpet in agony at 3:30 in the morning with my gut blown up three times its normal size. Great. Take away one of the few things I truly live for. On top of all that, apparently I'm going to have to turn into one of those alternative foods Nazi's that are a real pain in the ass. I'm already researching almond/coconut milk dairy substitutes, non-dairy vegan protein powders (since I can no longer enjoy my chocolate milk or chocolate whey protein post workout beverage. And that's another thing. Last year my fitness regimen was seriously derailed by this allergy bullshit, and every few months when I start to feel better and get back on a regular exercise/running schedule....BOOM! Sinus infection! Boom! Rampant hives outbreak! And now...BOOM! A possible milk protein allergy! I haven't exercised in three weeks and I feel like I'm atrophying head to toe...it's like God/Mother Earth/Buddah/Shiva/HAL/fucking whoever, doesn't want me fit anymore, because it feels like I'm constantly being conspired against every time I get back into a routine), breads that aren't made with milk products, etc. Guess what? EVERYTHING HAS FUCKING MILK PRODUCTS IN IT! Seriously. If it's processed, it's in there in one form or another. So now, I have to start shopping for particular products at those high end yuppie health food grocery chains where you spend $9 on a loaf of dairy-soy-gluten-GMO free organic bread made by a woman named Chastity and her husband Freedom. Yea. Apparently, I'm going to have to turn into THAT PERSON. God help us all, and please forgive me for what I'm about to become.
OK. Rant over. Side note, I took my daughters to Las Vegas (their idea...call me parent of the year) during the week of the 4th of July. Saw a few shows, ate at some nice restaurants, overheard a large man who looked like Cedric the Entertainer trying to buy cocaine over the phone ("Yo man, we need some motherfuckin' CO-CAINE up in this motherfucker...") and I managed to get through it despite my previously mentioned uncontrolled allergy/GI issues (had a few stressful nights though...was thinking I was going to end up at the Las Vegas ER one night, which would have sucked ballz...although I'm sure it would have made for a helluva story later). Like I said, made for some long nights, but it was nice taking the girls out of town. We had a good time, and I got to take them on their first (short) flight (kind of their warm up as my sister is taking them to England in two weeks. Yes...they're spoiled). Here's a few pics:
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