-if you're at the gym, and you look like you're hiding a children's wading pool under your belt, good for you. I'm all for self improvement. However, if you're hoarding the leg press machine all to yourself for forty-five minutes, your efforts are misplaced. Also, you're a selfish fuckwad. The 50 pounds extra of gelatinous goo you're carrying is not really being addressed by your pumping the quads. You may want to think cardio...and let somebody else use the machine. It's not a plate of nachos. You can share.
-unfortunately, I live in the conservative capitol of the cosmos. And the gym mentioned above is all
-I'm sick of reading blogs about people and their artsy craftsy shit. I'm glad you made a hat pin out of some cellophane and bottle tops..but...yawn. 'Ya know? Entertain me. Be provocative. Nobody's on the internet for Martha Stewart. We want Two Girls One Cup (confession: I've never seen it and really have no desire to...just seemed like an obvious reference to make my point), Fail videos, porn, Fry memes, sports scores, and helpful hints on local eateries and watering holes (I realize "eatery" and "watering hole" also sound like porn, but I wasn't trying to be funny...just came out that way. Ha! I said "came". It's like I'm the Nipsy Russell (look him up) of the keyboard). So, um, yeah...if you're going to blog...don't suck.
-hipsters. Yeah. I've had it with them. I've been accused of harboring a bit of hipster within, and I suppose anybody who plays musical instruments and writes/records music is probably guilty of this to a point. But...come on. Enough with the beards. I've never seen so many (apparently) aspiring Forest Service Personnel...or Fleetwood Mac holdovers from the 70's. Also, your choice of music, the bands nobody has ever heard of and I suspect, deep down, even you hipster guys/gals don't even actually REMOTELY ENJOY. Just because they incorporate a glockenspiel, banjo, and Sousaphone into the song doesn't make it GOOD...it makes it (usually) stupid and/or silly. Quit trying so hard. Cheap beer tastes like shit, vintage clothing generally has a hint of B.O. perma bonded to it you can never really get rid of, and WHAT THE FUCK IS WITH WEARING A WOOL BEANIE IN 95 DEGREE WEATHER YOU RETARD??? I could go on, but you all know what I'm talking about...and if you are one...knock it off and find your true self through some form of expression other than expressing your individuality by dressing like, and listening to the same music, as EVERYBODY within your peer/social circle. Expand your horizons. Trust me, it's OK to admit Session Lager (kinda my fave) tastes better than PBR (note: I have drank many a PBR in my day, but not because it was "cool" and "ironic", but because it was CHEAP and I was POOR. If this is your situation, then by all means, enjoy). When you can admit your obsession to strictly adhering to all things your peers and the local hipster neighborhood you live in have pre-determined as cool has, in fact, turned you into a narrow minded, myopic, douche bag...then the healing can truly begin.
-I had more...but I ran out of steam as I realized I really could go for some cookies right about now, and lost my train of thought (again...adult ADD? Perhaps...). So...cheers and all that.