Thursday, July 16, 2009

Stuff at 3:23 am

Well, due to the unusual hours I work, my sleep schedule is somewhat contrary to the rest of society and I find myself doing normal things at abnormal hours. In this case, I'm killing time on the 'pooter (as in 'computer'...not the toilet...gross) as I do laundry. Yea. Its always a party at my place. Anyways, a few thoughts:

-what is cool? Are we allowed to decide for ourselves anymore? It seems to me we are not. Example? Levi's vs. Apple products (I just saw one of their incessant commercials so I'm using them as a prime example). One became cool, and one was made to "be" cool...once an incessant marketing campaign beat it into your head. Here's what I mean. Levi's jeans were originally developed as a tough, utilitarian pair of pants for gold miners in 19th century California. The reason why they were blue is because that was the cheapest and most durable dye Mr. Levi Strauss could get in large quantities for his denim pants. Why denim? Because gold miners work in rough conditions and needed a tough product. Then one day starting in the 50's, kids started wearing these jeans and they started to become associated with rock and roll. They were anti establishment. They weren't polite. They became cool. People took a product designed for something else, and decided it was cool when it wasn't trying to be. In fact, not trying to be cool (and I mean genuinely not trying to be) is the very definition of cool. People were free to decide for themselves what was cool free of a (then) existing marketing campaign telling them how cool they were for wearing these jeans.
Now, contrast that with Apple products (confession: I'm typing this on a MacBook). It is decided they are "cool" before they are even released to the public. We have no choice in the matter. Their products are released at conventions of rabid followers by the company president who struts around in his black mock turtleneck, jeans (ha!), and his ever present bottle of water. And people sit in rapt stillness as he unleashes the next "cool" product. "It's the new iWad toilet paper applicator!" (Had a convo with a person a while back about toilet paper application products, and I know how Apple loves 'applications' *pun intended*, so it seems to me only a matter of time before they develop something along these lines...maybe have U2 star in the commercial. You know, Bono wiping his backside with an iWad while Beautiful Day blares in a multi-colored background. God knows these guys are apparently whoring themselves out for these things now...iPods? Blackberry's? Bono, stop now while I can still think of you as the guy who sang The Electric Co. and New Years Day...not the guy shilling for corporate giants). Bow down to the "coolness" of Apple! Now, to me, that is a company trying too hard. And trying too hard isn't cool. If your products are good and worthy, then people will decide if they are cool or not, you don't need to push so hard (after all, nobody is attracted to somebody demanding "love me", right?).

-women are put off by men with a brain. Here's what I mean. Women may complain about a guy having a single minded focus of thinking with his dick, and they may make a big deal about being treated as an object, etc. But you know what? I think its a front...a lie. I think they PREFER their men this way. Here's why: a guy, say, younger than thirtyish, is pretty preoccupied with getting laid...or at least the almighty beejay. It's kind of what we live for. And guess what? That makes us easy. Predictable. Controllable. MALLEABLE. And a woman loves a malleable guy. And when sex is a guys prime focus, all a woman has to do is play the card she was BORN WITH: her sexuality. How easy is that??? I cannot imagine, as a man, going through life with the idea the world will cater to me just for the sole reason I'm in possession of a functional penis. I mean, it must be awesome, and I can see why so many women obsess over this part of themselves...sometimes to the detriment of other aspects of their being. But then something happens to a guy post thirtyish...we realize how stupid we were, and that we sold ourselves incredibly short. That, and once you've been laid enough, you realize theres a whole helluva lot more to life, and you begin to wonder just how worth the effort it all was in your days of yore. Things like a womans sense of humor, intelligence, hell, A JOB, start to matter. Is the person nice? Yes...nice counts. A LOT. You begin to realize pretty is everywhere. Smart? Funny? Decently employed? Sane???? A fucking RARITY. A young man will sell his soul to the dumbest, nastiest, craziest wench if she's hot enough. A guy who has lived a little will laugh and say "Yeah...nice rack...what else 'ya got?" I think this throws women off their game...maybe even worries them a bit. A guy NOT thinking with his dick is a wild card...unpredictable...and a mystery as to what to do with. Unfortunately, nobody gave me this pep talk at twenty...and truth be told I was so obsessed with T&A I probably wouldn't have listened anyway. But now? I feel liberated.

OK, laundry is done, and time for bed...


  1. Re your first point... I doubt anyone will remember a single by Rick Wakeman which was entitled I'm so Straight I'm a weirdo.

    Funny dear old Rick is a bit of an institution in England these days often showing up on chatshows and the like moaning and groaning... he defines Grumpy Old Men - a show he featured on a lot. There was a time when he was very cool and then he wasn't. :-)

    Re your second point - interesting thought, although I found my Mrs Right when still a teenager and we're still together nearly 30 years later so I never really had a wild 20s like others... or I was wise before my time... :-)

  2. Sigh... Okay Okay... You've rustled me out of my cave with this blatantly offensive post!

    I don't think Apple tries too hard. Microsoft tries too hard and produces garbarge and yet they have market share - what's that about?

    Also, it's blasphemy that you would mock someone who is a vegan, a billionaire, and dying of cancer, but because he just wears jeans and a turtleneck like a normal person you say he's trying to be cool? What should he wears when he presents to a group of working professionals? A Wal-Mart sweats outfit?

    Thirdly, the applications are thought up, designed, and submitted by third party people... so linking that to Apple and your horrible "iWad" is an unfair correlation.

    Also, those famous singers and artsits are part of Apples "Garage Band" application which actually teaches you how to play different musical instruments using your Apple. I think you of all people would like to see Steve Kilby teach you how to play bass (Ok I have no idea there cuz I just threw out buzz words) but you would NOT do it just to be the opposite of cool because then you would deny coolness and therefore BE COOL?

    Now who's the one trying to hard?

    Okay, I think I successfully restirred the pot.



  3. @Furtheron: I'm going with wise before your time. If you were lucky enough to meet someone at a young age who truly resonated with your soul, why would you let that go in the pursuit of variety? Some of us only learn this after years of running around like an idiot. Different is not always better, more exciting, or satisfying.

  4. @oneheavenlyheart: I'd say just based on marketing and relentless bashing of a competitor, it's pretty obvious who is trying too hard. Yes, Jobs has cancer, but what has that got to do with his desire to be an aging wanna be hipster? He IS a billionaire, a corporate GIANT. No, he doesn't need to dress from WalMart attire, and one can dress as one chooses. But his choice of attire is obvious he's trying to make a point about who he is, otherwise when dealing with the public or stockholders, he's just put on a suit like everubody else in the business world who isn't obsessed with being thought of as a rebel (Hey Apple purchaser, I'm not a billionaire corporate giant, no no no...I'm just a cool guy who doesn't really want your money. Thats soooo Bill Gates! I'm just your cool pal who wants to SHARE some cool stuff with a cool friend. I don't really care about my billions. Sure, Gates has donated almost his entire fortune to philanthropic purposes, but he's the greedy one...I swear! Look! I'm even wearing jeans and a turtleneck...and turtlenecks don't lie or want your money, right????).
    The applications may indeed be third party products, but they're hawked through an official Apple store and relentlessly marketed all over tv, billboards, etc., and Apple is only too happy to associate with their "coolness", whether they thought of it or not.
    Finally, no, the Steve Kilbey reference was spot on...and he's so broke he would probably LOVE to be able TO whore himself out...but like many a great artist, he's beyond the grasp of the masses. And I wouldn't mind a lesson from the guy at all...but...a truly "cool" person would say "Why don't you learn like I did and give your hard earned money to your local unknown teaching professional who could use the money, as opposed to lining the pocket of a prima donna millionaire, and then develop your own style..."

    And come on, iWad was kind of funny. Admit it!