Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Parasites and The Tour de France

So, as I sit on my sofa in my underwear drinking coffee and watching television (got to LOVE the combination of being on vacation AND having a house to yourself) I see an advertisement for a 'reality medical show' called Monsters Inside Me. Wow. Just when I thought we couldn't get anymore disgusting with our television programming, here comes a show about...human parasites. I know...gag. Who would want to see a show about such a topic? Other than instill a paranoid sense of dread into the psyche of people who already tend to run towards the hypochondriac, what are we to gain from watching in HD detail the horrific possibilities nature can throw at us? If you haven't already grasped the idea of wash your hands, cook your food, practice diligent hygiene, don't go for swims in open sewers and Third World rivers, and question how bad you REALLY want that taco off of that downtown street vendor at 3 am, then I guess go ahead and watch this show in order to encourage you begin TO follow these valuable life skills. It makes me wonder whats next in television programming land? World worst infected open sores? You, me and STD's? World's goriest hemorrhaging arteries? Stay tuned to find out!

Ok, and what was I watching in my underwear this morning? The Tour de France. Here's an interesting thing about the Tour... women don't get it and think its stupid (well, other than my sister who watches every year). Here's a typical conversation I've had with multiple women over the years as I try and watch the Tour:

Female (f): Is that a bicycle race?
Me (m): Yes.
f: Why are they racing in a big pack? How can you win if you're all together?
m: Well, they're not always in a big pack...which is called the Peloton. You see, sometimes, depending on stage and terrain...
f: You've already lost me. This is stupid. I'm going shopping.

That is essentially, with a few variations, just about every conversation I've ever had. Speaking of other things most women find stupid, I think I'll go and hit some golf balls....


  1. This is stupid. I'm going shopping.

  2. You had the Tour De France in your underpants... Oh right re-read that now... :-)

    Yes it's like when I talk about guitars,the woods, the string gauges, the plectrum gauge, the pickups.... sorry who's that snoring?