I was a groomsman at a wedding two weeks ago, and a couple (whom I introduced to each other, oddly enough) began their lives together. It was a lovely ceremony, and everything went smoothly. I think. I say "I think", because we (me and the other groomsmen) showed up three hours before the (afternoon) wedding for pictures, etc., and me and my fellow groomsmen immediately started drinking. A lot. Like....A LOT (what can I say? We're a festive and merry bunch). Needless to say, by the time the ceremony rolled around, me and my fellow groomsmen were absolutely piss drunk. The boys and myself all wore our sunglasses during the ceremony because we thought that was funny...and, more importantly, we didn't want the folks to know how shit-faced we were. Funny thing is, I'm sure the fact we were all wearing our sunglasses kind of gave that away (our shit-facedness that is), which completely defeated the purpose. Also, apparently I made a speech during the dinner, and in retrospect, I have no idea what I said. I was told it was heartfelt, tender, genuine and appropriate, you know, me being me, so that's about all you can hope for in situation like that, and I (as far as anybody will tell me) avoided the pitfalls of inappropriate jokes, mentions of groom's ex-girlfriends, and unsolicited opinions on the sanctity of marriage from the perspective of a divorced guy. Furthermore, as the night wore on, nobody slapped me that I can remember, so I'm guessing my behavior wasn't all that scandalous in the end, so for that, let us give thanks. I did get left without a ride home at the end of the evening, which basically meant I kept drinking with the help long after everybody left. Yes, I did finally manage to finagle a ride home, and the evening finally ended without major incident. HOWEVER...
...I woke up with a world class hangover, and all of my text message history had been erased. I have no idea what that means. So, if any of you know me, and you received some truly bizarre early morning text that night, well, apologies, as I have no idea what happened text-wise for about an eight hour period. Upon reflection, I AM beginning to think it is probably a good idea that if you plan on having a cocktail or two or fifteen, it's a good idea to hand over your phone to a sober driver (phoner?), just in case. Nobody needs to drunk text for any reason, no matter how great an idea it might seem at the (chemically impaired) time. Trust me on this one. Also, when I woke up later that morning, it looked like a Smurf puked in my sink, and this caused me some concern. After pondering this mystery for a few seconds, I realized there were blue cupcakes served at the reception the evening prior, and that cleared things up nicely, as the correlation suddenly became obvious, Sherlock that I am.
Me and the boys getting the afternoon started properly:
Single again. What can I say? I have about as much success in relationships as an alcoholic does in guarding a liquor cabinet. And, let's be honest, in a situation like that, you really cannot blame the liquor cabinet can you? That's the best analogy I can come up with at the moment, but it seems oddly appropriate, and it is safe to say I may want to take a little time out and reflect on a few things...and cease blaming the liquor cabinet.
As in freez-ing. Went to Reno, Nevada, to see my Fresno State Bulldogs take on the University of Nevada-Reno in a football game with conference championship implications. I also took my two daughters with me. We had a nice time, and took the scenic route back to California to see Lake Tahoe. A good time was had by all. However, as exciting as the game was (Fresno State won), we froze our (collective) asses off during the game. Here's the temp towards the end of the game:
And although we were appropriately attired...:
...it was still DAMN COLD. Like, I lost the feeling in my toes, and my nose ran like the French from the Germans (ha! Sorry Francophiles...but that was too easy). Oddly enough, a strange thing happened though...my girls, who are always complaining about being cold, actually enjoyed themselves and had fun. Yes, actual fun, and are coming with me to the regular season ending game two weeks from now. You just never know how something is going to go over with a couple of women, and sometimes they leave you pleasantly surprised (I am also guessing the fact that they got to stay in a fancy casino hotel and were taken out to breakfast/lunch/dinner all weekend also helped their disposition...but still, props to the kiddos).
Alrighty, not the best blog I've ever written, and I'm not going to edit it for quality of content, syntax, spelling, etc., because I am sleepy and really kind of don't care (to be honest), but it is a little something to tide me over until I can get sufficiently irate enough about something to want to purge it here via the written word, or, if I ever finish my latest song idea and ever get it recorded so I can share it, um, here. In the meantime, I bid you known and unknown strangers alike...adieu.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
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