Remixed and Reimagined

OK. This is a re-imagining of a song I did a while ago. I added a different (live) drum loop, and some keyboards. It now more closely resembles what I had in mind when I first recorded it. I think of it as a modern interpretation of 1982 Blondie meets Duran Duran. I make no apologies for being a teen in the 80's...enjoy.

Johnny Comes Home by JohnJayJay

The Modern Dating World

OK, so I've recently re-entered the dating world after a two year hiatus. Yea and huzzah. After a conversation at the gym last night with my closest friend, I decided I was going to periodically write about what it's really like to be out there as somebody other than a club hopping, under employed, vacuous 20-something. Should be good for a laugh, and, I figured why not something from a male perspective? After all, we've been bombarded with everything from Sex and the City to Vagina Monologues, so I figured the male perspective was underrepresented. Where to begin...

Well, if you're like me, and almost everybody you know is married, and are folks you've known for years, any new social interaction as a result of their acquaintances is probably going to be nil. Married people tend to hang out with married people, and you probably already know all their friends and acquaintances anyways. Furthermore, if you work in an industry that is 95% men (like I do), meeting people through work is also a non-starter. So, where does that leave us? It leaves us with the tried and true "Just go out and live your life and you never know who you will meet", which is always the first and best ongoing option, and also with the good old digital age internet dating website, which is an easy way to jump start meeting people you may have never otherwise encountered. It's the latter I'm going to talk about today.

Have you ever looked at one of these sites? Not only is it enough to make you want to pretty much adopt a life of solitude and celibacy, but it also pretty much makes you fearful for the future survival of the human race. What you basically do is scan through a ton of photos of people in completely unrealistic daily activities (Look! Here's me white water rafting after I got back from my weekend in Vegas...had to cut the rafting trip short though because I had to be at my winery tour in Napa by 7!). Or there's multiple people with skydiving pictures. Seriously. Take a look. Also, lots of rock climbing, hiking, and boating. You may think this screams "See how interesting an adventurous I am?" , but what it really screams is "See how I constantly need to be entertained? Because if I sit still for one second I may have to have some sort of inner reflection....and that simply cannot happen!" I'm all for weekend getaways and such (I love going to San Francisco and the Central Coast), but if you need to be on the run 24-7, and spend every free second on an adventure, there's a name for that...it's called manic, and it's not appealing. Also, unless you have a helluva job of your own, you're also advertising that you expect somebody to fund this manic lifestyle for you. Unless you just retired at 35 from your lingerie modeling/stand up comedian/nuclear physicist job (i.e. ridiculously hot, funny and smart), I cannot imagine men lining up around the block volunteering to endorse their paychecks over to you.

Know what's even worse? The written profile. You will find a common theme. It will have lots of words such as these: "Not looking for players", "looking for a gentleman", "No liars", "No cheaters", "After a wild life looking to settle down", "Looking for somebody real", "Looking for a serious relationship only", etc. (and a multitude of these will be filled with syntax and spelling errors). Reading this sort of tripe will induce vomiting, so I suggest you keep a bucket nearby if you find yourself reading one some day. When a woman writes something like this, they might as well have just put it all in one encompassing sentence: "Well, I'm a low self esteem, dysfunctional wreck who has dated a non-stop stream of emotionally unavailable assholes who cheated on me like their life depended on it, and I personally have slept around a ton as well. If your somebody who I haven't slept with yet, drop me a line as I'm too worn out to successfully keep up with my trampy ways, and hopefully you'll settle on me." Yeah! I'll be right over sweetheart. Gag.

Then there's the one percent (and even that might be generous) who seem to be reasonably interesting, sane, and attractive (and age appropriate for me, which is 30+). But there's always a catch. Very often a woman in this age group (again, we'll use 35 as an example) who has actually made a successful career for herself will be childless (spent last ten years building up her career...to which I say kudos) and looking to start a family. They will state it in their profile: Want kids? "Definitely!" They need a reality check in that, generally speaking, a 35+ year old guy isn't looking to start a family. Who wants to be pushing 60 by the time your kids are out of the house? A guy in this age group is looking to share a life with somebody, not start a brand new one. If you haven't started a family by now, it probably isn't in the cards for you, you know? You're at an age when if you were to have kids, you'll need to start having them immediately. So, if you haven't already been with somebody for a period of time and are now ready to have kids, trust me, meeting a guy now who is looking to have a six month courtship and then proceed into immediate procreation is not likely, and if you do meet that guy, run. He's a nut job. If a 36 yr old guy is looking for a future potential mother to his children, he'll probably be aiming for a twenty something who is young enough to space out the heirs to the kingdom...not a 35 year old who will have to spend the next four years in a hell of non-stop pregnancy. Sorry. But there 'ya go.

So, as you can see, the pickings are slim for a whole host of reasons. Should be interesting.

OK, so there it is. Installment one of what it's really like to be a 42 year old guy looking to enter the dating pool again. I'll keep you all updated as things progress (or, if they don't progress, i.e., I just go ahead and go all Ted Kaczynski and become a hermit in a shack in the woods writing my manifesto and making pipe bombs). Luckily, I also have my friends to keep me entertained, as well as my guitars and music, the gym, a stack of good books, and a shelf full of high end whiskey (Makers 46, Black Bush, and Johnnie Walker Gold Label. Yum). Either way, my weekends will be filled.

Cheers...

New song...ramp up the Stratocasters baby!

So, I had fun with this one. Found some new drum loops to manipulate. Went for a more organic sound with bridges ever so slightly altered between parts. Was hoping for a "live" sound. Structurally, it's reminiscent of music I used to play in my band way back in my college days. Enjoy. Called "East of Academy".

I need a public relations spokesperson

I've decided, like all celebrities and/or famous/rich people, I need a PR person to spin things for me. Example: they can explain to my boss via press release that I wasn't "late for work", I was actually "focusing my energies elsewhere" and being "tangentially productive" (I'm copyrighting "tangentially productive" btw). They'll have a limited budget to work with however, and they'll be paid with canned soup and newspaper coupons. So it's really more of an entry level position*, but you gotta start somewhere.

*Note: I refrained from making a juvenile joke/double entendre about "entry level position." You don't know how hard it was.**

**Note on the note: I again refrained, and refused to run wild with "how hard it was". As you can see, my discipline knows no bounds.

Soundcloud

So, a fellow blogger who lives in Old Blighty turned me on to Soundcloud. It's essentially a music sharing site where you can upload your tracks and folks can listen to, and download them, for free. So, if you like any of the the music I've recorded in my little studio (ok, it's a Macbook in my den with a Fender P-bass and Stratocaster plugged into it) in the previous post, you can follow this link and download any of the songs that you may find appealing. Ciao!

http://snd.sc/tW9WHo

or

http://soundcloud.com/johnjohnson-8

New Music and the movie Drive

OK, so I saw the movie "Drive" a few weeks ago and absolutely loved it. It was this beautiful amalgamation of gritty 70's movies, early Michael Mann, early 80's European crime flicks (think Long Good Friday), and maybe even a bit of Sergio Leonne stuff. Anyways, loved it. I also really enjoyed the soundtrack because it had this very cool (again) early 80's Euro/Michael Mann feel to it. Giorgio Moroder-esque in a way. So, I was inspired and came up with V832V. No guitars, just bass, drum, and keyboards. I also, once again, remixed and added to Just Like the Sun. I always liked it, but it felt incomplete. So I went with an assault of guitars for the second half of the song, and now, I think its as it was meant to be. There's nothing layers upon layers of over driven, effects laden guitars can't improve upon!

V832V

Just Like the Sun (remixed again...guitar bombast mix)

The Snake Charmers

Space Monkey

Mercury Tears

Lessons Learned

The Lizard Brain

Sullivan Potter

On the Dole

The Hedonist

Flanger

Razorblade Mirror

Johnny Comes Home

Jumped the Shark

Horizon

Jason James Flint

Lunar Plane

Altar

Wayward Youth

Re-mix and re-edit a song to my satisfaction

OK. (Slightly) re-named a song, and re-mixed it. Also changed a few leads and amp settings. It was never quite right, and it was bugging me. Now it sounds as it should, and I am happy with it. Now called The Snake Charmers. Here it is with the others. And, as usual, no vocals...but some shoe gaze/alt rock indulgence all the same. Dig you hipsters from the 90's!

The Snake Charmers

Just Like the Sun (Remix)

Space Monkey

Mercury Tears

Lessons Learned

The Lizard Brain

Sullivan Potter

On the Dole

The Hedonist

Flanger

Razorblade Mirror

Johnny Comes Home

Jumped the Shark

Horizon

Jason James Flint

Lunar Plane

Altar

Wayward Youth

The modern press are a bunch of plasticized, failed model, lazy, non-reporting douce bags

It would be nice if we had a press that actually did its job as the so called "Fourth Estate." The modern press is lazy, and providing a great disservice to the public with its non-reporting techniques, i.e. merely collecting sound bytes without actual questions asked. A rather simple example: Every time a politician spews forth the idea that the path to economic recovery is to reduce spending, lower taxes, and reduce the size of government, nobody has asked the obvious question of "Can you show us a historical example where this approach as worked to end a recession/depression?" or "Didn't the Hoover administration try this with disastrous results seventy years ago?" or how about "If nobody has a job or any money to spend, and therefore cannot buy goods and services from a business, how does lowering the businesses tax rate compel the penniless and unemployed to buy goods...and therefore encourage the business to expand and hire?" Stop with the mindless regurgitation of talking points, and make people defend and explain their ideas and philosophies!

I guess I'm all grown up...

How I know I've officially become my parent(s): in almost every paparazzi pic of a celebrity I see now, I almost never know who in the hell the so called "celebrity" is or why they're famous enough to have their picture taken as they grab a Starbucks coffee or lay around on a beach. Minka Kelly? Bar Rafeli? No effing clue.

Quick Rant

Attention Fresnans: the minor kink (like what, about a 4 degree variance???) on freeway 41 between Shields and McKinley does not, I repeat, DOES NOT, require you to slam on your brakes and slow down to 27 mph. Stop treating it like it's blood alley or the chicane of death for Christ's sake, and grow a pair. Thank you for listening.

Also, motorcyclists: wearing a Jesse James style bandana with an open faced helmet does not make you look like a bad ass. It makes you look like an idiot. If you're really concerned about bugs in your face/mouth/etc., it's called a full face helmet. They're not new. Look into it.

Marilyn Monroe and Lance

So, I’ve seen a lot of women over the years post the following quote on various social media profiles:

"I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."

Now, I know a lot of you ladies think this says, “Hey, I’m not perfect, and if you cannot accept that, then you have unrealistic expectations and are unworthy of a relationship with me.” But you know what? It doesn’t say that. Know what it does say? It says the following:

“Hi. I’m a seriously unhinged lunatic who will have the occasional lucid moment where I’ll lull you into a false sense of comfort that I’m a rational human being. The reality is, however, you are far more likely to wake up with me straddling you, crying, holding a knife to your throat, and screaming, DO YOU LOVE ME???? DO YOU???????? DADDY….WHY DIDN’T YOU LOVE ME????? WHY??????????”

You see, this quote is from Marilyn Monroe. The same Marilyn Monroe who not only was raised in a physically abusive atmosphere, but married a string of assholes and then fucking KILLED HERSELF. She was also famous for being wildly promiscuous, and not because she had some sort of voracious sexual appetite, but because she felt the need to constantly debase herself because she was filled with an overwhelming sense of self loathing. Now, while we can debate the tragedy of it all, let us not forget the paramount point here…she was a complete train wreck. To identify with her is to identify yourself as a likewise pile of twisted metal and smoke filled destruction, and a pretty good flag for healthy people to view you as a live grenade. It’s also a great way for the kind of narcissistic, self aggrandizing, abusive pricks Marilyn often engaged in relationships with to sniff you out and introduce themselves. Just so you know…

Also, I had the following encounter yesterday. As I was driving down the road after a trip to the grocery store, my trunk warning light came on, and it turned out I hadn’t completely shut my trunk. Not wanting potentially loose plastic grocery bags to fly out of my trunk, I pulled over to the right curbline of Shepherd Avenue, stopped my car, got out, and shut my trunk. Now, in this spot on the road, there is a designated bicycle lane…which I momentarily occupied with my car. Before I pulled over, I made sure there were no cyclists near by. After the fifteen total seconds I occupied the bike lane, and as I was reentering my car, a cyclist, apparently offended he had to make the risky maneuver of moving six feet to his left, felt the need to make the following comment as he rode by, “Really!!!???” Apparently, he was so mortified by my position in the road, he just couldn’t help himself. Now, Lance here (he was dressed up in the latest Tour de France style bicycle racing gear…i.e. spandex head to toe…and speaking of toe, probably a good case of man camel toe as well in those bun huggers he was wearing. C’est chic monsieur!) was no doubt deciding to take up the need all “serious cyclists” feel in educating the general public in traffic etiquette (if you’ve ever seen an episode of Portlandia, you know what I’m talking about). They think they’re being helpfully instructive and are creating greater societal good. But you know what they’re really being? A ginormous asshole. I mean, just like the Grand Canyon, it can be seen from space kind of asshole. And it’s not instructive. It’s just being a dick who is assuming you are the only decent human being in the world and this lunk headed car driver decided to park his car in the middle of a bike lane so he could jack off and smoke a menthol cigarette or something. Whatever. Point is, it never occurred to this living, locomotion capable douche bag, that perhaps there was a REASON why this guy pulled over, legally I might add, into the bike lane. What his comment did inspire , however, was a moment where I considered catching up to him and committing vehicular homicide…just so I could hear his head pop like a grape under my 3,500 lb vehicle, and have the joy of rinsing his blood off of my grill. But no, I didn’t do this and settled for this razor sharp come back statement instead: “Yeah…really!” Yeah, my wit knows no bounds. The kicker is Mr. Law and Order here made a right turn at the next intersection into the far left oncoming lane (illegal), and then proceeded to travel against traffic (also illegal). It would be funny if it wasn’t so tragically retarded. The lack of a sense of hypocrisy and self awareness that seems to be spreading across this country faster than an STD on a college campus is depressing, and will be the death knell of this country faster than any boneheaded economic policy we adopt. Wow. That was a lot of words to just say “people are dumb.” Thanks for indulging me.

Neocon nut jobs

The Republicans are holding a loaded gun to their own head and threatening to pull
the trigger if others don't go along with them. Time to draw a line in the sand and
let them pull the trigger. If the debt ceiling isn't raised, and the resulting
chaos results in their Wall St sugar daddies missing a bonus check, they'll be
out of office tout de suite. Time for the Democrats to grow a Clintonesque
sized pair of balls.

Michele Bachmann is a reptile

Every time I see the cold, unblinking, compassionless eyes of Michele Bachman staring into a camera, I keep expecting her to unhinge her lower jaw and swallow a whole gazelle.

Humanism is too human

Was hunting and pecking around the blogosphere for thoughts and ideas about Humanism, and ran across this one here:
http://theoreticalhumanism.wordpress.com/

Here was my reply, and although it was spur of the moment and probably doesn't pass the sniff test, it does contain some ideas I actually believe in (for the moment...after all, I am evolving, and so is my point of view on many a thing).

If I had to subscribe to any “ism”, I guess Humanism would be the closest to any life philosophy I adhere to (although to borrow from Ferris Bueller, I tend to think of most “isms” as dangerous belief systems). However, I feel even Humanism is too narrow a philosophy in that it ascribes some sort of meaning to life (contentment to use your supposition). I think the purpose of humanity is no different than the purpose of the universe itself, and that is a vain attempt to stay one step ahead of death (or entropy if you like). It is of course impossible, and yet we have an unyielding and fundamental drive to reproduce prior to our death to give our genes some type of (false) immortality, as even the universe gives life prior to the death of some of its most complex systems (a dying star can supernova and produce complex…more complex than the star itself… life giving elements back to the vacuum). It all seems ultimately pointless, due to diminishing returns, as entropy and the ultimate heat death of all creation seems inevitable. And yet…I don’t think nihilism is the logical conclusion. It would seem to me, on a true macro scale, we are part of an exceedingly complex whole that seems to be evolving to a point, as if the universe is struggling to evolve in order to understand, and give meaning to, its very self, and perhaps even transcend itself into something beyond creation. Simple evolution on an unimaginable scale (actually, I guess not, as I just imagined it). Then again, to use your argument, it’s ultimately beyond the scientific method, and therefore, not worth discussing. Maybe contentment is where it is at after all. Hmmm…I think I’ll have a taco (yum).

(later on I realized my own flaw) ...of course I contradicted myself by giving meaning as well. This is tricky stuff. OK. I'll just say there is only one meaning, and it applies to, quite literally, everything (from things as elemental as hydrogen gas, all the way to complex structures like human beings and whole galaxies). The meaning is the meaning, it is transcendent, and it is simple as it is complex. It's the alpha and the omega, the yin and yang, 42, the sound of one hand clapping , the chicken or the egg, and that whole tree in the forest thing. It also explains why a taco is so perfect.

Juxtaposition

I enjoy art in all its forms, and yet, I rarely enjoy "artists." Being creative need not equal self involved, self aggrandizing, ego centric, narcissistic douchebag. And yet, every time I hear one speak, be interviewed, or, god forbid, socialize with a (self styled) one, these traits just come roaring through. "Yes, I can see you took a black and white photo of a whales penis, and then Photshopped it with a Warhol print, then covered it in spray painted graffiti...and then titled it 'Afghanistan'. Sorry. I just don't get it. I think a better title would have been 'I'm An Asshole.'" Let it go my man, you're just not that cool. Trust me. There are of course exceptions to this rule, and to those talented few who self deprecate and don't take themselves too seriously, I tend to greatly admire...but they're a small club indeed.

My White Whale

We all have our hardships and challenges. Right now, mine is trying to figure out what to do with this totally bitchin' chord progression: Cmaj-Csus4/E-Am7-D7...is it a chorus? Verse? And what to follow it with??? Forget the heartbreak of psoriasis, this shit is frustrating. OCD in overdrive...

It keeps me off of the streets...

I recorded a new song this weekend. Called The Snake Charmer. My basic excuse was to play around with a mix that made my P-bass sound chunky. I think this did it. Simple song, but fun to record. It a major key, so therefore my idea of a happy song...and once again, I abuse a variation of the key of A. Bon apetite. Oh, and if The Catherine Wheel and The Church had a baby...this would be it.

The Snake Charmer

Just Like the Sun (Remix)

Space Monkey

Mercury Tears

Lessons Learned

The Lizard Brain

Sullivan Potter

On the Dole

The Hedonist

Flanger

Razorblade Mirror

Johnny Comes Home

Jumped the Shark

Horizon

Jason James Flint

Lunar Plane

Altar

Wayward Youth

Conundrum

Early morning exercise sucks ass, but you do feel really good afterward. It's a shame you can't have one (sleep) with the other (fitness/endorphins). Best analogy I can think of is this: it's like if it took getting hit in the head with a ball peen hammer in order to have a spectacularly dynamic orgasm. Sure, the end result is really nice, but is it worth the sacrifice? Life is all about decisions I suppose...

Random Musings.....

-Apparently 42 is the magical age where I no longer care which celebrity is screwing who. On the other hand, if you want to gossip about which acquaintance/friend is screwing who, I'm all ears. Stories of friends going off of the deep end and inappropriately banging somebody never gets old.

-Trying to talk reason with a teenager is like trying to communicate with a brick wall. Trying to talk reason with a teenaged girl is like trying to communicate with a brick wall...that cries.

-Watching Nova special on the Great Sphinx. A lesser known monument was a giant hole dug in the ground next to it called the Great Sphinx-ter. OK, I don't actually know if that is true, but it SHOULD be.

-It just dawned on me....Life: No one thing is weird, it's ALL weird. Seriously, any human behavior I can think of is really just pure, dysfunctional, fear based hilarity. I guess it's a Darwinistic thing, in that evolution is a process of refinement to better achieve needs, and the end result is a smorgasbord of highly refined, and in a survival context, effective insanity. The human comedy indeed.

All the songs I've done to date...i.e. my alt. rock exploration (update 5-14-11)

OK, here's everything I've done so far. In no particular order. Old to new all mixed up, as you'll notice recording/mix quality varies from song to song (newer ones better mix as I got better with the process). All instrumentals as I don't sing...but still entertaining if I do say so myself.

Mercury Tears

Lessons Learned

The Lizard Brain

Sullivan Potter

On the Dole

The Hedonist

Flanger

Razorblade Mirror

Johnny Comes Home

Jumped the Shark

Horizon

Jason James Flint

Lunar Plane

Altar

Wayward Youth

Just Like the Sun

Cigars for everyone!

Pregnancy test commercials violate truth in advertising laws. It's always this blissful, happy, happy, joy, joy event. Anybody who has ever been around a woman who has had to pee on a stick purchased from the local pharmacy knows the actual experience is filled with considerable more dread and nauseating anxiety.

You Decide

The "Fluffernutter". A sandwich? Or a tawdry sex act? Actually, on a good night....it's both.

Math Never Lies

60% of adult human body is composed of water. 95% of people are full of shit. Therefore, 57% of water is composed of shit. Statistics are awesome.

Starbucks

Why the fuck does Starbucks have two registers when it is patently clear, that they never, ever, times infinity, plus one, ever intend on using it? Line longer than King Kong's dick*? No problem, we'll just have four people manning the drive up window and one gay guy with permanently tattooed eyebrows working a single register...next to the one covered in cobwebs and dust from a bygone era of customer efficiency.

‎*Although a theoretical measurement, King Kong's dick is assumed to be quite long.

New Song

Kind of a melancholy tune. Starts off very mellow, then a little simple fuzzy guitar hero, then a wall of sound meant to build as a bit of emotional crescendo. Mix came out nicely too.....Called 'Lessons Learned'

Another New Song "Inside the Lizard's Brain"

So, way back in the day I used to plass bass guitar in an alt rock band. Then life took over. I recently discovered Garageband on my Mac, blew the dust off my guitars, and started writing some songs. Here they are. No vocals because my voice sounds like a frog being castrated.
Update: I suppose I should comment on the songs a bit (yes, most lack titles...).

-Inside the Lizard Brain. Just having fun with a wall of guitars...going for a hypnotic, spooky sound. Had fun with it.
-Horizon. Made me think of driving on a desert highway headed towards where the sky meets the earth...
-Lunar Plane. How I spent my last weekend in January and my idea of what an alien lullaby beamed from deep space would sound like. Inspired by The Church's Field of Mars. Worked a little ride cymbal in the chorus...my most favorite of cymbals.
-Flanger. My attempt at guitar rock majesty. Song named 'Flanger' for reasons that are obvious to guitar weenies.
-My Song 4: Was going to record a different song last night and made this up on the spot instead...all built around a simple bass line. You just never know what your Muse is gonna do. Again, influences are obvious. I could tweak this more and polish up transitions, but I'm done with it and going to leave "as is". Thank you short attention span.
-Jason James Flint: Music inspired by spy movies, and about as low-fi as you can get with a shitpile of synths. Thank you Steve Kilbey for chord changes inspiration.
-Just Like the Sun: has lyrics, and as usual...it's about a woman. But they're personal, and I can't really sing anyways, so anyways...obvious Catherine Wheel influence, and first song I did on Garageband.
-My Song 3. No title. No words. Living out late 80's early 90's new wave fantasies. Daughters thought it has a tango vibe.
-My song 5. Maybe my favorite. My idea if The Church and Soundgarden had a baby...and that baby grew up and gave birth to The Smiths (ending guitar part a nod to my love of Johnny Marr).
-My Song 2. More alt. rock, new wavey, late 80's inspired stuff. I like this one too.
-Sullivan/Potter (Redux). My nod to U2 and two guys I know who listened to them waaay back in the day. A remixed version of an earlier attempt.
-This Song Has No Name but it Grooves Baby. If disco and shoegaze combined their DNA it might sound like this.
-Altar. My attempt at a little Church inspired jingle jangle. One of my earlier attempts, hence production not as clean as I would like.
-Jumped the Shark. Not a huge fan or aficionado of club music...but thought it would be fun to try. Plus, I got to attempt a middle eastern "Kashmir" type guitar riff...so I got that out of my system as well. Enjoy. (Title says it all!)


Inside the Lizard Brain

Sullivan Potter

Song 4

My Song 3

Flanger

My Song Groove

My Song 2

Jumped the Shark

Horizon

Jason James Flint

Lunar Plane

Altar

My Song 5

Just Like the Sun